Where do rapists come from? Everytime this brutal atrocity happens, many of us think that how do men become rapists. We talk about what should we do when a rape is committed. From capital punishment to hanging in public to castration and what not. But in all this, are we at all looking at the root causes while trying to create a deterrent? While creating a deterrent is equally important to stop this most inhuman crime but will that help, or is it helping so far. There have been capital punishments. The overall rate of conviction is pretty slow in our country. Something needs to be done for this for sure. Just having the laws or making them more stricter will not help unless we catch the culprits faster and put them to trial faster as well as get them to sentencing & implementation as soon as possible.
In this, I feel there should be liberties taken by the laws to not allow a few constitutional rights to the convicts. Here, I'm not saying we take away the right to a fair trial from the convicts but why donwe need to give them the option of creating the drama that the lawyers in Nirbhaya case did. Why do they need to have the right to file multiple review petitions and then mercy petitions. Atleast one of these rights should be taken away from these rapists who have been convicted in all courts.Besides this, there is another important aspect that we do not look at. How do men become rapists. Why do they think 1. that its ok for them to rape and 2. that they can get away with it. In my view, it all starts from the way we bring up our boys. Keep in mind, the world over, rapists have not been found to be from lower and less privileged parts of the society. Instead the point 2 of the above Why applies more to the privileged offenders.
The moment you tell your boys when they are small that a girl is weaker than him or that he, being a boy, is more privileged than the girl, you are sowing the seeds of a society where the men think of women as lesser beings. The way a man in the house treats the women of the house, mother, wife, sister, daughter has a direct relation with what the boys in the house will learn. This act of unknowingly creating a divide between the genders early on is a seed not given its due importance. The reason is becuaee not every boy who sees this divide does not grow up to be a rapist but what we need to see as parents is - that every man who rapes must habe been bought up in an environment where women were considered as objects and not equals. Don't we agree?
So, in my view, the genesis of a rapist starts with the parents or the one bringing up the boys. If we have to do something about preventing rapes and not just punishing the ones who commit them, we need to address this early on as citizens, as parents and as soceity. The government, judiciary and law enforcement has a role to play ofcourse in creating a deterrent but we have our share as well. Now, you'll think which mother would knowingly create a monster who rapes women. Well, as I said, thats not done knowingly. But while committing supposedly small mistakes in treating girls different than boys or a simple statement to a boy like 'why do you cry like a girl?' is causing damage we don't realize. So, can we put the blame also on the parents of rapists? No, not the blame for sure. We can put the onus on all parents, however to ensure the following when they bring up kids:
1. Ensure an environment of true equality between genders. Don't just preach but practice it.
2. Don't become a shadow of your kids but do keep an idea about the company they are keeping to avoid any corrupting influence.
3. Talk to your kids, at the right age, about the physiological differences between the genders and initiate what we call Sex Education yourself. This supported by Schools efforts could ensure they don't take to wrong means to explore their own or the opposite genders' sexuality.
I might be sounding idealistic or impractical to some but I do strongly feel that this heinous act ought to be stopped at law enforcement, law making as well as parenting angles. By focussing on these aspects, we need to address and stop the genesis of a rapist.
My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families and as well with every citizen who feels the agony of seeing what goes on in our country or this world.
I can end this with a small creation I wrote at the heart of the Nirbhaya movement in 2012 which, unfortunately, still gives the state of affairs.
Ayee hai tu is jungle me, tune kya zurrat ki
Bhediyo ke shor me kaun sunega tere dil ki,
Upar wale ne jo gulistan ijaad karne ki taaqat di tujhe,
Wohi taaqat teri ruswai ka sabab ban rahi yaha,
Is naimat ka wazan bhul gaye teri parchhai se nikle,
Tere dard ko samajhne ki aadat nahi kisiki yaha,
Sochna padega inteha hai kyunki ab,
Tere bina kaise duniya chalegi inki,
Aaj aye to aandhi toofan par kal kya,
Andheri galiyo me kya phir teri cheekh sunai na degi,
Jo boyega ye insaan beej dilo me, usi ka anjaam milega,
Aaj ye thaan lo ki kal ye zulm nahi hone denge hum,
Ab is farishtey ko aabru nahi khone denge hum.
Peace
